She held my hands in hers and with a steady gaze said `I am so happy for you that its all worked out`
Something shifted inside my heart
I knew from the depths of my heart she sincerely meant it
But how could I tell my friend of many years the truth without disillusioning her?
Could I tell her I was afraid and hardly slept? That my kids were often sick? Could I tell her all this and more and break her heart?
The tears could hardly make it to the bus. The conductor didn't bother to ask me for my fare until the bus ride was almost over.
I lay down on the floor of the house after I dropped my bags and locked the door.
I wept like I had not wept for years
I wept for me
More so I wept for mum
If mum was alive, it would have broken her heart to know a fraction of what I was going through
She would have cried so deeply
I was trying so hard to be brave. To be strong
She never would have asked me to
She would have solved it
She would have opened her arms and said `Ciiru, come here.`
Too many of us have lost the way
We're struggling, fighting
What would have our departed ones wished of our lives today
Are we anywhere near honouring what they would have wished for us
What they taught us
What would God say
What does God feel about where you are today
Does it break His heart to see you struggle so
Does it break his heart to see you hurt so
He never asked you to
He's got it covered
He will wipe your tears and open His arms wide
And say `Child, come here `
Comments