Did I tell you we have a new addition to the family? Florence the hen. She's brown. She's given me three delicious eggs. I am actually having one now for dinner with the previous harvest from the farm.
Yes indeed city born girl has taken up farming! Guess you didn't know that about me. Its been an adventure, a learning process. Super sized vegetables in two months and tiny tiny ones of others 6 months later. Its about the type of seeds, I later learnt. Tears of joy at the birth of bunnies, tears of frustration at their death. The cycle of life in your hands, so to speak, gives you a new perspective of life.
There are many things we don't know about people. For various reasons and its ok. I think their best kept secrets are of their pain. Their midnight tears, their fears, their regrets. I'll personalise this.
You and me walk out there trembling, screaming on the inside. But the toys, the clothes we hide behind provides a super facade and some but few know of the true anguish we go thru.
But do they really know? Do they really understand? Maybe not. Maybe because best as they may try, your pain isn't quite what they can understand. Some pretend to understand, some simply don't care. Well, either way, its still is real. The pain still is yours.
Now one thing we'll never, ever share is the doubt that our faith is suffering from. That the faith is wavering. A cloud is looming.
Never, ever will this be vocalised because, well, I guess we fear we'll loose face with those who believe we have 'real faith'. Or maybe because we're afraid those who have taunted us for the longest will have a field day knowing there's weakness in this faith you speak boldly of.
Even to God we can't admit we are having doubts. We sing songs, quote His word but like a nagging fly, doubt hovers.
Noone really knows. Noone, so we think but I think God knows. He knows in our human fraility its easier to trust the seeds we can see, touch and plant and then harvest, than invest in faith that His promises are true.
Can we confess to God our doubts and still have favour? Will He love us less or does He smile gently and knowingly like a father to his doubting child?
I think we can confess our doubt, apologise about it. Surely our fallen human nature comes with that manufacturing fault.
Lord, even though we sing Great is Thy Faithfulness with hearts and tears of doubt and shame of our doubt, Lord forgive us. You still remain Lord. You still love us.
Yes indeed city born girl has taken up farming! Guess you didn't know that about me. Its been an adventure, a learning process. Super sized vegetables in two months and tiny tiny ones of others 6 months later. Its about the type of seeds, I later learnt. Tears of joy at the birth of bunnies, tears of frustration at their death. The cycle of life in your hands, so to speak, gives you a new perspective of life.
There are many things we don't know about people. For various reasons and its ok. I think their best kept secrets are of their pain. Their midnight tears, their fears, their regrets. I'll personalise this.
You and me walk out there trembling, screaming on the inside. But the toys, the clothes we hide behind provides a super facade and some but few know of the true anguish we go thru.
But do they really know? Do they really understand? Maybe not. Maybe because best as they may try, your pain isn't quite what they can understand. Some pretend to understand, some simply don't care. Well, either way, its still is real. The pain still is yours.
Now one thing we'll never, ever share is the doubt that our faith is suffering from. That the faith is wavering. A cloud is looming.
Never, ever will this be vocalised because, well, I guess we fear we'll loose face with those who believe we have 'real faith'. Or maybe because we're afraid those who have taunted us for the longest will have a field day knowing there's weakness in this faith you speak boldly of.
Even to God we can't admit we are having doubts. We sing songs, quote His word but like a nagging fly, doubt hovers.
Noone really knows. Noone, so we think but I think God knows. He knows in our human fraility its easier to trust the seeds we can see, touch and plant and then harvest, than invest in faith that His promises are true.
Can we confess to God our doubts and still have favour? Will He love us less or does He smile gently and knowingly like a father to his doubting child?
I think we can confess our doubt, apologise about it. Surely our fallen human nature comes with that manufacturing fault.
Lord, even though we sing Great is Thy Faithfulness with hearts and tears of doubt and shame of our doubt, Lord forgive us. You still remain Lord. You still love us.
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