Someone wrote a letter that went like this...Am writing this to you my friend. Its all a sham.... I am so wrong, so imperfect, so.... My heart is wicked, my thoughts, my words, my deeds and i sometimes i even dare to deceive myself it is ok.
Then there's the nudging twang again its not right. But if i ignore this long enough, i can bury it deep enough for it not to bother me. Bury it deep enough for it not to seem so wrong. For me to do it again and even be justified its ok.
But i toss and turn at night. I have nightmares. I can't pick up some calls. I cant look in the mirror. I cant look you in the eye. I won't go through that route.
I could consider apologising to you for what seems wrong to placate it all. I might even change for a day or two. But why does it still feel like a bulb went out in that section of my heart? It doesn't all ring true even to me.
Today one spoke of our innate wiring, our soul, our birthright. The fact and the right to be called children of God. We're His and He is us. Me, i ask? Wicked, selfish, lying, mean, me? The perfect, all powerful, mighty, loving God says yes.. You. Its you as my own.
The birthright to be His, i discover is simply upto me to take it up and live as His own or choose to exchange it for a bowl of 'food' which quickly spoils or bores. From His end, He's already chosen me to be His..everyone.
Something tells me, taking up this birthright is worth it. They say when am His, He says my sincere apologies will be accepted, He understands me as I am, my heart is lifted, my nights restful, my days peaceful and you my friend, I will not cease to hurt you but I will prompted not to do so as selfishly. I could then love you with a love from the definition of love, not by my volition, but by Him. They say too, fear is replaced by faith, that life is lived fully in all spheres. Life then makes sense.
Accepting this birthright means become a work of art worked on by the Master's hand. I could live with that. Please pass on this on and remind all of our birthright.
Then there's the nudging twang again its not right. But if i ignore this long enough, i can bury it deep enough for it not to bother me. Bury it deep enough for it not to seem so wrong. For me to do it again and even be justified its ok.
But i toss and turn at night. I have nightmares. I can't pick up some calls. I cant look in the mirror. I cant look you in the eye. I won't go through that route.
I could consider apologising to you for what seems wrong to placate it all. I might even change for a day or two. But why does it still feel like a bulb went out in that section of my heart? It doesn't all ring true even to me.
Today one spoke of our innate wiring, our soul, our birthright. The fact and the right to be called children of God. We're His and He is us. Me, i ask? Wicked, selfish, lying, mean, me? The perfect, all powerful, mighty, loving God says yes.. You. Its you as my own.
The birthright to be His, i discover is simply upto me to take it up and live as His own or choose to exchange it for a bowl of 'food' which quickly spoils or bores. From His end, He's already chosen me to be His..everyone.
Something tells me, taking up this birthright is worth it. They say when am His, He says my sincere apologies will be accepted, He understands me as I am, my heart is lifted, my nights restful, my days peaceful and you my friend, I will not cease to hurt you but I will prompted not to do so as selfishly. I could then love you with a love from the definition of love, not by my volition, but by Him. They say too, fear is replaced by faith, that life is lived fully in all spheres. Life then makes sense.
Accepting this birthright means become a work of art worked on by the Master's hand. I could live with that. Please pass on this on and remind all of our birthright.
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